I went to two back-to-school nights for Dex and Neve, and as usual, I found myself totally wowed by lots of teachers, and sending mental energy to the few that are clearly just phoning it in. I know I could not do what they do all day, that’s for sure, even though I am a teacher myself. It’s apples and oranges: I deal with concepts and material and intellectual growth. Grammar and junior high teachers expend so much energy trying to keep kids’ attention and behavior managed while also looking out for learning styles and differences and bullies and lord, in some places, even the students’ weight and health. That’s a lot to ask in 6 hours of underpaid work.
But I digress.
So I sat there among parents I’ve known for a while, and as I gazed at their faces, I wondered what everyone wanted for their kids. There were a few whose intentions I knew very clearly, ranging from perfection and honors to just getting their kid to pass every class. Most people’s motivations were muddy to me –they said they wanted their child happy and engaged, but we all fall off the wagon and turn into dictators now and then. We want them happy doing whatever it is we have decided is worth doing, yes? I recall how ridiculed I was when I said that I really believed that Dex’s obsession with comic strips was a sort of research–he is always reading and re-reading and drawing them. Who knows, maybe he’ll do something with it? Who am I to judge passions? But that was an easy one: I happen to love comic strips and can see the value in them. But what if it was something I didn’t approve of? It got me thinking about my own motivations and how I can better line up my behavior with my intentions.
I am inspired by creative people. I always think about Spike Jonze, who is a massively successful director of singular vision — and has very little formal education. He skateboarded and played with video cameras in junior high, and flunked out of high school by the time he was 15. By 17 he had shot music videos and started magazines and, to date, has made a ton of money and earned high respect across genres. Money was never the goal, it was the creation of the idea, the execution of the idea, and the pursuit of a better idea that made him happy– and that, to me, is a formula that last a lifetime.