A Blog for Busy Parents From the Editor of L.A. Parent

Archive for the ‘Tips’ Category

Win a Day At Disneyland!

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Do you read mom blogs and think, “Gosh, those mom bloggers get to do fun stuff!”?

Believe it or not, blogging is hard work. You’ve got to keep your schedules straight, write like crazy, keep your posts updated, Tweet and Twitter like a flock earsof sparrows and spend endless hours editing videos and photos. But it’s not all work and no play – the best part is getting out there and learning about what’s cool and fun for families in Los Angeles.

After all that, you might think you really don’t “have time for this.” And that’s probably true. But do you have time to enter to win a fabulous day enjoying the Holiday Celebration at the Disneyland Resort on Nov. 21? That’s what I thought!

I’m inviting one I Don’t Have Time For This reader to walk a day in my mom blogger boots!jasminejack

That’s right! One very lucky winner and three guests of his or her choice will get to enjoy a little mom-blog VIP treatment while checking out the holiday decor in the park and experiencing some special activities with me and several other mom bloggers (and the winners of their Disneyland blog giveaways). Parking will be included, as will a buffet dinner and some socializing. It’ll be fun. And I promise I won’t make you work too hard.

All you have to do is get yourself there; Disneyland and the mom bloggers will take care of the rest!

Here’s how to enter:

  • Email me at carolyn.graham@parenthood.com and put “Holiday Celebration at Disneyland” in the subject line. Be sure and include your name, address and daytime phone number (if I can’t reach you by noon on Thursday, Oct. 29, I’ll have to pick another winner).
  • Deadline to enter is Oct. 29.
  • I’ll be picking a winner at random, but just for kicks give me a couple of your family’s top tips for visiting the park.
  • You and your three guests must be traveling from L.A. County.
  • You and your three guests must be able to attend the festivities with me on Nov. 21.

disneylandxmas

______________________________________________________________________

OFFICIAL RULES

TERMS & CONDITIONS: Your entry must be received no later than 12:00 pm (PST), Oct. 29, 2009. Odds of winning are based on the number of entries. One (1) winner will receive the prize noted above. Winners are chosen at random from all eligible submissions and will be notified by email. If the winner cannot be reached, then a new winner will be chosen. You may request the name of the winner by contacting carolyn.graham@parenthood.com. The retail value of the prize is $450. This prizes are not redeemable for cash. Dominion Enterprises is not responsible for and does not warrant the safety or quality of the prize, and is not liable for any injury, damage or death related to the prize or its use.

Eligibility: You must be age 18 or older to enter. Only residents of the state of California are eligible to enter this contest. Residents of Florida, New York and all other states are NOT eligible to enter. Employees of Dominion Enterprises and their immediate families may not enter. All applicable laws apply and this contest is void where prohibited By participating in this promotion, you become a Parenthood.com site member. Parenthood.com intends to send regular email updates and occasional promotional offers that may be of interest to you. You may opt-out of these mailings at any time upon receipt.

School For You

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

How’s the school year going? Here’s my report: 1235schoolbus300

• Kate, as a fourth grader, is now mostly on her own (with only a little nagging) when it comes to getting homework done. But somehow she always magically finds a way to milk a 20-minute “Report About Me” into a three-hour trip to the salt mines. Last night, she decided the 50-word assignment needed to be done in cursive. She doesn’t know cursive. I think next time she feels the need to jazz up assignments, I will suggest she use only her feet to write the report.

• Jack, a fresh-faced kindergartener, does not understand the concept of homework just yet. He never – ever, ever, ever – remembers to turn in his “yellow things glued to paper” assignment. Isn’t the teacher asking for it?, I plead. [insert blank stare here]

• Jack’s first day of school was actually a “mixer” of sorts. Parents hung around, chatted with the teacher, met Fred the bearded dragon and got to know each other. Before I set foot in his classroom, I had no knowledge that it was not a regular school day. How was it that I was the only one who didn’t get the memo? I sweated profusely throughout the morning until the 11 a.m. dismissal time (nope, didn’t know about that either).

Why am I regaling you with these tales? Because I am often the victim, like so many other parents of school-age kids, of information UNDER-load. This year, in an attempt to be “green,” the school is not bothering to send out notices, which I wouldn’t be getting anyway, apparently.

But I’m sure thousands of you have similar stories about lack of communication, school policy issues, funding questions and just straight-up confusion, which is often my problem. But parent involvement is often what transforms a “D” school into an “A” and keeps parents, like me, just a little more sane and kids a little more engaged. And those “A” schools need parents to continue to ask questions, get involved and be present in the classroom (or playground or library).

California State Senator Gloria Romero (District 24), Chair of the Senate Education Committee, is hoping to empower parents a bit when it comes to speaking up for our children’s education in these tough times, when programs are getting tossed out like Jack’s homework. To that end she’s also hosting a Power to the Parents town hall tonight from 6 p.m.-8:30 p.m. at the Rosemont Elementary School 421 N. Rosemont Ave., Los Angeles.

She also offers these tips on ways parents can get involved this school year (and good luck with the homework!):

  1. Go to Back to School night. Get to know your child’s teacher and keep in contact. Learning doesn’t stop when your child walks out of the classroom – reading at home and monitoring homework is especially important.
  2. Join parent groups. There are numerous parent groups at both the school and the district level. The school site council and parent-teacher organization advise the school administration, step up when changes need to made and sponsor various events and fundraisers throughout the year. Many districts also get input from parents through one or more parent advisory councils.
  3. Meet your school board. As parents, it’s not easy to get to evening meetings, but it can be worthwhile to go and meet the superintendent and elected officials who set policy for your district. You’ll need them on your side when they face tough budget decisions and your favorite program is on the line. Take your children along and the trip becomes a lesson in civic engagement.
  4. Volunteer in the classroom. It’s not only fun to dive in on finger-painting or drive kids on a field trip, it’s also important for your child. A number of studies have shown that students do better academically when their parents are involved in the school.
  5. Go to school events – it’s your right! By state law, parents and guardians working at companies with 25+ employees on-site are entitled to take up to 40 hours each school year to participate in the school activities of their child, not exceeding eight hours in any calendar month of the school year. When you look ahead at the school calendar, let your boss know about important assemblies and other events in advance.
  6. Get the facts. How is your school doing compared to other schools? The easiest way to find out is to request a copy of your school’s School Accountability Report Card (SARC) from the school or the district office or to view it online at http://www.cde.ca.gov/ta/ac/sa/. The SARC has information on everything from school safety to demographics to teacher training and test scores.
  7. Run for your local school board. The idea might never have crossed your mind, but I urge you to think on it. School board members have diverse backgrounds, often drawing on experiences as parents, educators or former students in the district. A passion for education reform is truly the only requirement for the job – like most jobs, you can only learn by doing it.

E-Coupon Clipping

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

couponsherpa1Brace yourself: I’m going to give you a peek inside Carolyn’s purse. Among the critical items such as wallet and six shades of lip gloss are: one pair of boys’ Thomas the Tank sunglasses, one broken bracelet, 37 hair clips, three “emergency” lollipops, a battery, and about a pound of coupons. The great irony is that I am much more likely to use Jack’s sunglasses and eat his lollipop way before I’d use one of those coupons.

And why? Because I NEVER EVER EVER remember that I have them when I’m making that purchase that I’m making because I went to some store specifically because I had a coupon.

Enter a new iPhone application that I can really get behind: the Coupon Sherpa. Just scan the list of stores and find the offer that suits your purchase. You can email it to yourself and print it out or merely show the clerk your iPhone so she can scan it or get the number. The reviews are somewhat mixed on the results of handing over your phone to the person taking your cash, but the technology will catch up with them before long, I’m sure of it.

And in honor of Earth Day and all the paper saving you can do (and so we can all clean out our purses!), you can get the app for free through Friday, April 25. After that, it’s $1.99.

Ask the Therapist: Tantrums in Tweens

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

I recently received an email from a friend of mine chronicling some “daughter drama.” We both have 8-year-old girls, and both seem to be going through a renewed tantrum stage. I forwarded her plight along to Tony Malinda, an L.A.-based family therapist who wrote “Your Parenting To-Do List” in the March issue. I thought it might be helpful to share this with fellow parents!

She writes:

Do you have an article on this?

Brianna’s teacher called me today. Tells me she is having tantrums every time she asks her to do something, falling out and crying. She keeps refusing to take tests, and when she does, she answers only two or three of the questions.

Am I a bad mom? What is going on? I want to freak out! When she is at home, no tantrums lately and she does her homework fine.  I just don’t get it!

HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!!

Tony Malinda replies:

Let’s start with the premise that kids act out for a reason 100% of the time and that reason is most often to get ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION. And if kids cannot get attention in a positive way, they will absolutely and unrelentingly get it in a negative way. So here are some steps to try first:

1) Encourage Brianna to put words to how she is feeling and why. Don’t accept blame and criticism; try to get her to describe the situation and the feelings she has during that situation. Let her know that you have heard her then help her come up with creative ways to deal with her frustration without causing trouble in the classroom. Do not entertain blaming others e.g., Blame teacher, blame teaching methodology, blame other students.
 
2) Use rewards and consequences to decrease negative behaviors and increase positive ones.
“Brianna, if you can go 5 whole days (or three if that’s too much to ask) without Mom hearing from school in any way, you can have: a) Extended play date with friend, b) Movie of choice with Mom, c) Dinner at restaurant of choice with Mom. (This can vary depending on what she likes.) Do not offer material rewards; it sets an unhealthy precedent.
If Mom does hear from the school by phone, mouth or note, Brianna will lose all screens and playdates for the rest of that day and the following day.
 
3) Trust the school to handle the behavior within their system and try to stay out of it unless the school is insisting on your involvement. For example, if Brianna has to serve detention or sit in the principal’s office during lunch or miss a field trip, so be it. And try to stay neutral when consequences are given by saying “You chose to behave badly, now you need to deal with your consequence.”
 
Remember that the goal is to teach Brianna how to communicate effectively, self regulate, self advocate, tolerate frustration, control anger, delay gratification, manage frustration and  be flexible in situations that she does not agree with or like. This sounds like a lot but the alternative is to teach her that she can get her way if only she throws a tantrum.
 
If this does not work then the problem may be more severe and need a more intensive team approach. I will be glad to help if that is the case.
 
The “Road less traveled” approach to parenting will pay off in the long run but the “path of least resistance” approach to parenting will come back to haunt us.
 
– Tony Malinda, M.A., M.F.T.
 

Pretty and Pregnant?

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Are you glowing and showing? Then the folks behind the Baby and Tween Celebration L.A. (April 25-26, L.A. Convention Center) want to see you!

They’re searching for pregnant mommies who might be willing to walk (or waddle) on the catwalk for the event’s Lov’n the Bump Maternity Fashion Show. Find all the details here.

And if you know a kid who loves to strut for an audience, they’re also looking for youngsters ages 2-8 for the No Kidding…Kidster Couture Fashion Show.

The casting calls will be 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. on March 12 at the Manhattan Beach Marriott.

Ocean Quest

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Dog? Check! Hamster? Check! Cranky feline whose only mission is to sleep 23-1/2 hours a day? Yep! Dolphin? Che… uh, what?

That’s right. You can add a dolphin to your menagerie of adopted critters. And you don’t even have to build a three-million gallon saltwater tank to do it. You simply surf over to the Ocean Conservation Society and read about Ninamom and her calf or Eos, a male dolphin who prefers the coastal waters, both of which have been identified and studied by the Los Angeles Dolphin Project team

The funds donated through the dolphin adoption program are used strictly for the research and study of these amazing mammals, which cruise right along our bays and coasts and frolic among our boats and surfers here in Southern California.

The minimum donation to adopt is $50, and you receive a certificate with a photo of your dolphin’s dorsal fin (which researchers use to identify individuals), a detailed list of where your dolphin has been sighted and lots of information about bottlenose dolphins. By researching the dolphins that inhabit our area, the Ocean Conservation Society hopes to understand the delicate ecosystems here and educate visitors and residents on the value of keeping the beaches and waters clean and healthy for all occupants.

Because when Flipper is happy, everyone is happy.

Baby Bailout

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

What do you do if you’ve got a small company trying to survive in the midst of a struggling economy? Spin it to your benefit, of course!

Tastybaby is an L.A.-based organic frozen baby food company that just launched Tastybaby’s Great American Stimulus Package. During the week of Feb. 17, the company will give out a free case of Tastybaby frozen organic baby food (a $40 value!) to parents who want to try the line.

The first stop on the “Tastybaby Bailout Tour” will be at the home office in Malibu. Check the Web site for future stops.

Goin’ Hollywood

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

For anyone who’s ever been held prisoner by a Hollywood traffic clog, this is the Web site for you: NavigateHollywood.com.

Need to go from L.A. to the Valley on Hollywood Bowl night? Check this site. Wondering where you might be able to hail a taxi from Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum? Looking for a parking lot close to the El Capitan that won’t cost you an arm and a leg? Want to take the Metro to the Pantages? This site can help, so click here first!

The site was engineered by the Hollywood Property Owners Alliance and City Council District 13 to provide a nonfrustrating path to and through the heart of this popular destination. It’s full of cool features, such as where to find the bike paths, racks and shops as well as walking tours, if you want to go exploring on foot. Sign up to receive street closure and special event announcements either via e-mail or SMS text, so that you can watch the Academy Awards action on Feb. 22 from your couch instead of while sitting in a traffic jam!

Wishing for Good Gifting

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Don’t get me wrong: I love to buy gifts for people. To amble among the shops, checking out stuff my friends or family would like, brings me great pleasure.

But as you might already know, I don’t have time for that.

So when I have to buy a gift, I freak a little bit. I put it off, then run around like a mad woman. Then I stress that my gift is going to look like something I just snatched off a shelf at Ralphs, which it often is.

That’s why Valentine’s Day is such a difficult holiday. I want to show my husband how thoughtful and giving I can be. But I usually end up looking like a heartless cad on Valentine’s Day, while he delivers a beautiful bouquet and some tasty sweets from an upscale candy shop from some hard-to-get-to spot in L.A.

Just in case you run into this dilemma, too, I thought I’d tell you about WishWrap.com, a unique gift Web site that allows you to shop by what you might be wishing for a recipient, such as “wealth and happy circumstances” or “festive cheer.” I fell for the Nuts About You package, which includes a stuffed monkey with an insert that can be heated for cuddling and cinnamon and dark-chocolate nuts. Enclosed is a message that says, “Playful, cuddly, spicy and sweet…just like you! Wishing you love and warmth today and forever. XOXO.” Then the gift is beautifully wrapped up in “green” and reusable packaging.

It’s a bit on the pricy side ($65 for the monkey and nuts) but will definitely keep the guilt and stress at bay. And Steve will just think I’m sweet.

Balance Beam

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

A glimpse into my day:

  • 5:30am: My alarm goes off.
  • 6:05am: I leap out of bed after oversleeping.
  • 6:45am: I bark orders at Kate, clip my hair to my head and hope that I’m wearing pants as we dash for her bus stop.
  • 7:15am: Try to transition from hectic morning drill sergeant to calm working professional. Clear head. Drain coffee pot. Try to collect the zillion tasks that day into one doable to-do list. Remember all the things I forgot in the morning rush (although I am wearing pants). Forgot to put new soap in the shower. Steve probably showering without soap.
  • 4pm: Trying to slip back into “mom” mode after day of juggling deadlines. Remember soap, but there’s no replacement soap. Dang. Remember that I forgot to call sister. Call sister. While talking to sister make snack for Kate while nagging Kate to get homework done. Yell at dog for eating sofa cushion.
  • 9:30pm: Plop down on sofa (minus one cushion) after dinner, kids’ baths, homework, lunches made. Arms too heavy to pull me up to get myself off to bed. Remember that I forgot to buy soap…

It’s not always that hectic and tiring, but like so many other parents, I often feel the tug of having too much on my plate. The result is that I often feel off-balance.

I was invited by the UCLA Staff and Faculty Counseling Center to share some experiences and insights yesterday for a program they called “Parenting & Paychecks: Time, Energy and Balance.” The staff and faculty there are pretty fortunate to have such a great resource at hand, where they can seek help and support for a variety of issues.

Finding support and sharing our war stories are often the best ways to keep our lives (somewhat) in balance. The one-hour lunchtime seminar was a great way to bring a lot of them together to comiserate and get some ideas. And I got some, too. As a way to create some quality time with spouses, one mom said she and her partner take the occasional day off to just hang out together, get massages, have lunch. Great idea! I might use that time to buy soap…