Archive for March, 2008

Signaling Busy

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

A screaming child is like a forensics tool. Bring one into the room, and anyone who isn’t a parent gets immediately and obviously grumpy.

That whole changing-diapers-while-on-a-conference-call is a nice sound bite for the blog, but it doesn’t always work. After all, sometimes I run the phone meetings, which means my phone is un-muted almost the whole time. I can get important calls at inopportune times, too, and still answer them. And if I’m ever on a phone call at the exact moment my kids wake from their naps — their cries for Daddy amplified over the monitor — it’s nearly impossible to react quickly enough.

“Are those your kids?”

Among any parents on the call, I’m immediately forgiven. “How old are they?” and “Boy or girl?” are the big questions. My fellow parents wax nostalgic about their once-small children, maybe get a little envious. For everyone else, though, the feedback is ominous. ”Do you need to go?” and “I thought you had a nanny” seem to top the list. If it’s a conference call, I might hear somsething like this: “While Seth takes care of his kids, why doesn’t David talk about….” It’s as if I tore open the back of my pants, and everyone is pretending it’s okay.

Phone calls offer people a quick and intimate listen at your world, and enabling that listen is unprofessional. But to walk away from my children when I need to concentrate on my words, or to hear without interference, is an emotionally violent act, like slamming a door. But the polite daddy-is-on-the-phone-right-now compromise works only for a few seconds. At these moments, I have no choice but to hope there are some other parents on the call who will cover for me when my honest professionalism gets interrupted.

I need a telephone switchboard with extra buttons for my kids, like Mute and Hold. In the meantime, my kids are a busy signal.

The Office Away From Home-Office

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

The best thing about having a home office is that I don’t have to work at home if I don’t want to.

In high school, I was one of those kids who carried a backpack heavier than himself. Seemingly crushed by the weight of my own textbooks and notebooks, I proudly carried everything I could possibly need from room to room. In English class, I actually earned money by selling the rights to my stapler — and I mean, what kind of nerdy kid carries around a stapler? As an adult, I still love the idea of mobile self-containment, and thanks to my laptop, wireless Internet, and a cell phone, the real meaning of “work-at-home” is “work anywhere.” I’m a work-anywhere dad. I’m a one-man mobile-office band.

Being able to sit at a cafe window or library cubby or even outside means there’s yet another missing boundary in my life. Did you know my children’s day care facility has wireless? I can’t tell you how many times I parked my car at the curb of their building, connecting to the Internet while talking to a client. When I know I have an 11:30am meeting, I make sure to get a good parking space there, because I can’t allow an hour’s meeting to make me late to pick up my kids. And when those meetings run over, I tuck that Bluetooth curlycue over my ear and keep talking, even while I greet my kids.

In the late 1980s, there were these AT&T commercials that went something like this: “Have you ever gotten a fax while you were at the beach? You will.” We used to make fun of those ideas, laughing at the poor souls on the beach who would get chased by faxes from the office. Well, guess what. It looks a lot as if I’ve become one of those people. I mean, here I am, trying to greet my kids with a smile, but with a conference call ringing in my ear.

But it only looks like that, because there’s an important difference. While the guy on the beach is followed by his office, I’m a mobile office who escaped to be with his kids.

Tie to Go to Work

Monday, March 10th, 2008

I dreamt I was wearing a tie.

Actually, it wasn’t quite a dream. I was washing dishes, listening to my wife play with the kids, and I suddenly wanted to wear a tie. I was craving a dress-up day, when I put on a tie and jacket for no necessary reason whatsoever. Maybe the day care teachers will view me with added respect, but that’s not why I want it. I crave it because, although I am a professional and I sound like a professional, I want to feel like a professional.

My kids don’t yet have expectations of how people dress. Some day they will, but for now, as long as I wear their favorite colors and shave once in a while, they’re satisfied. Wearing pajamas all day is fun for everyone. And actually, dressing up means going away. On the mornings that my wife dresses for work, she leaves for the day. For a consulting job 100 miles away, I donned a tie and often didn’t return by bedtime. Even my kids know that getting dressed means leaving the house. Business casual means business absent. I put on the funny-looking scarf-like thing, and they ask, “You go to Hartford today, Daddy?”

I don’t need discipline when it comes to choosing work apparel. When it comes to productivity, I get more of a belt from coffee than my from closet. But dressing down gets tiresome, too, and then I’m fantasing about sleeve buttons and black socks. But what exactly is the connection between dress discipline and work discipline? How will my kids learn to reconcile the tee-shirt-and-shorts exterior with the career-professional interior? After all, we work-at-home dads have no role models.

Maybe I should buy my daughter a Bathrobe Barbie and explain, “Look, honey. Barbie is working.”

Clippings, Art, and Tiny Art

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

My daughter’s third birthday wasn’t long ago. During the weeks leading up to the celebration, my office became a storage area for all the presents that needed to be kept secret.

As long as my office is away from the traffic flow of the house, it remains a natural endpoint for the jetsam of our daily lives. The corners of my office are filled with things like the kids’ depreciated toys, future birthday presents and surprises, and photographs we don’t want Oren shoving into the radiator.

Books on efficiency would criticize me for failing to keep my office a sacred space for my job, but the assumed definition of “sacred” is too narrow. Unlike Joe Office Worker, who colors his office with photos and a World’s Best Dad mug, I like to think that I decorate more profoundly. I’ve got lots of mugs — many of them deserving of a good wash — but I also have pop-up books in need of repair, daily day care reports, ideas for outings with my wife, and an envelope filled with tickets and tokens from Chuck E Cheese. The piece d’resistence is the long stairway that connects my office to the house. I’ve converted it into an angled art gallery for my children’s multimedia artwork. Every time I commute between the living room and my office, I pass cotton-ball snow, handprint animals, construction-paper collages, and enough glue-stuck noodles to feed a family of four for a week. My office, sacred like a scrap book, is intimately filled with clippings of my family.

In my daughter’s doll house there’s an attic office, sort of like mine. Mostly it’s filled with plastic animals, but there’s art in there, too. She and I colored some of those tiny adhesive notes — one of them looks like a miniature crayoned Van Gogh — and stuck them to the walls. Maybe she pretends the animals drew them.